On Thursdays, I volunteer in the lobby of Good Shepherd Hospital playing background piano music during the staff lunch hour. I was playing the song, The Shallow, when Olga asked if she could videotape me playing the song. We got to talking and I found out she was from Eastern Europe and had a job in the Ophthalmology department at the hospital.  She needed help in English to pass an exam. I said, “I can help you since I used to teach ESL.” We got together about three times before the pandemic hit. She told me about her desire to have a baby, but that she had to be cancer free for 5 years before she could safely conceive. It has been four years now of being cancer free.

When the war in Ukraine hit on February 24, 2022, I thought of Olga and I still had her in my contacts. When I called, I did not know for sure where she was from. She called me back in tears telling me how her mother lived in the beautiful city of Kharkiv in Ukraine known for the arts and exquisite buildings.  Her home town was being bombed and she feared for her mother, relatives and friends’ lives. She sent me a video of what the town looked like before and after the bombings. This was a first hand view of the war I had only seen on the news. My heart went out to Olga and her family.  Her mother has decided to stay in Ukraine,  but her husbands’ family of four came to live with them in April, 2022. There are now 7 people living in a small apartment in Buffalo Grove. The youngest is a 15 year old high school student named Nevor.

Larry and I decided to meet and gift them at their apartment one evening. We sat around their kitchen table hearing their stories and weeping with them. We tried to figure out how to help connect them to World Relief and Willow Creek’s Care Center. Not only did the whole family come to the Care Center for food, but Olga has applied to volunteer at the Care Center where they need her language skills for the many Ukrainian and Russian clients who will be entering their doors for food, clothing and medical help.

We had all seven of them over to our house on Sunday, May 29^th. The men helped with lawn and tree removal in our yard.  The woman earlier helped clean my house. They wanted to demonstrate their gratitude. They are hard-working and talented individuals.  One is a nurse, the other has a degree in computer science and film directing, another has a factory job and an on-line business.  The youngest is a student at Buffalo Grove High School. They are quickly learning English.We had a team meeting and lunch at my house recently to figure out ways we can pool our talents to help Ukraine in its fight for democracy and for the needs of the incoming immigrants. So far, they are very touched by the welcome Americans have given them.  

Julie was always a happy, energetic, strong little one. She was born with curly red hair and I was certain I had the next Shirley Temple or Annie. I remember when Gloria Rendleman came over for a visit and seeing Julie with a cute new hairdo with curls circling around her face, she said,” She’s so cute, I’m going to cry.” Cindy Ginther, also a red-head, wanted to adopt her.

Deb and Julie were the best of friends, almost like twins. Julie was brave and outgoing while Deb was quieter and more introspective. Julie had a laugh that would fill the neighborhood as she wrestled down the boys. One time, they decided to go outside right after their bath. I let them run around naked while I answered the phone. I then got another call from a neighbor saying, “Sue, look outside your girls are going down the slide butt naked.” Yikes.

I remember one time after being up late with Larry that I heard her walk down the stairs to the kitchen. I thought to myself, I better get up and see what my 2-year-old is up to. But it was quiet so I slept a little longer before I came down the stairs to see her covered with powdered sugar. A friend had given us a dozen donuts and Julie had taken a bite out of most of them leaving her and the kitchen a royal mess. I looked at her and said, “Julie, you won’t need any breakfast this morning.” Speaking of breakfast, Larry and I went on a ski trip and left Deb and Julie with Barb and Ken. They fed them pancakes and Julie was able to eat as many as 240 Ib. Ken.

Dad would place Deb and Julie on the dresser and have them jump to him. After Deb jumped, Julie would not hesitate to jump almost immediately afterwards showing her total trust in her dad to catch her. Her spirit of adventure was evident at a young age. Even though Deb was 15 months older, she insisted on doing everything Deb did.

We went on a picnic with a Jesus People group and the gnats were buzzing around Julie’s nose. I had to take her to our VW bus to keep her safe from them. I took her to the doctor the next day, and after some time he found that she had something up in her nose that was rotting. When he removed it, all was well. We never knew what it was. but it brought back memories of my mother putting her finger in a meat grinder out of curiosity and of me trying to make my little iron hot like my mother’s by transferring the heat with my hand.

We loved to take the kids camping at Kettle Moraine and we have pictures of Julie shirtless on the Merry-go-round. We would sleep under the stars and play Hide-and-Seek and Mother May I. Dad and I loved playing with our kids at all their ages.

I remember one trip to Kentucky to see the Mammoth Cave. Dad had a bout of unexpected diarrhea and had to go immediately. He used Julie’s little potty I brought with us in our VW Conversion Van. The rest of the way, Julie chimed in saying, “Julie’s potty, Daddy’s potty” which gave us a lot of giggles.

At a restaurant, we sang songs to entertain our kids while waiting for our food. We just finished singing Six Little Ducklings when the waitress arrived. Julie said, “My daddy calls my mommy “Wibble Wobble”. Dad had names for all of us. Deb was Bear and Julie was Hulia.

Julie never talked baby talk. She could speak full sentences at an early age. She would grow up to be an excellent student, singer, actress, guitar player and a strong and self-assured leader.

As we wake up this morning to the sound of birds, and to the rising sun, to flowers and the sound of children stirring in bed— can you hear their voices–the mothers weeping for those lost in War? They may be half a world away, but God hears their mourning this morning. God, please gently wrap the deceased in your loving arms and take them to a place of peace where the sound of war has ceased. As we go about our daily chores, have us continue to hear their voices and pray for peace in our world. We are all connected in one way or another. It’s the brotherhood of man. We were given free will, free will to make choices— good or bad. Make the right choice today to promote freedom in our land and to give a helping hand to try to understand. This morning, we hear the sound of birds, we see the rising sun—will we extend a helping hand to those from another land? This morning–do you hear their mourning? See Psalm 37

I heard a flock of sand hill cranes overhead beaconing the end of winter. Sitting on my deck, I see budding trees, the crocuses and my new rhubarb plant. Yes, what looked like death is certainly now alive. Nature is such a beautiful picture of the resurrection of Christ. In the background, I love listening to Handel’s Messiah and the song, “I Know that My Redeemer Lives”. It is the perfect Easter message.I am so thankful that Cornelius existed in Christ’s time, because he gave us a picture of God’s love. Cornelius was a centurion (soldier) in the Roman Regiment. He and all his family were devout and God-fearing. But he was not a follower of Christ at that time. It says in Act 10 that he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly. As a result, an angel spoke to him and said, “Your prayers and gifts to the poor have come up as a memorial offering before God. He was then instructed to get in touch with Peter who was visiting Simon, the tanner. At about the same time, Peter was praying and had the same vision three times where he was instructed to eat meat that was forbidden to the Jew. He then had a knock on his door and was instructed to go to the house of Cornelius, a Gentile. When Peter saw that God was opening the door to the Gentiles, he said, “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who reverence him and do what it right. Then he told them the good news of peace through Jesus Christ. As a result, before he finished speaking—the gift of the Holy Spirit was poured out on them.We are thankful for the Jews who faithfully and accurately penned the Old Testament with the prophecies of Christ throughout. (See Isaiah 53, Psalm 22, and the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls for examples). Also reading Acts 10- I see that God hears the prayers and cries of the non-Christian and answers them if they seek Him with their whole heart. (Jeremiah 29:13) Be a true follower of Jesus Christ and follow His teachings {Matthew 25:31 and not the so-called Christianity of today that is alienating so many. For example, I looked up at the sunset and called out to a God as a freshman in college. I didn’t think He existed. But I was looking for meaning and purpose in my life. I told God if he was there, He could have my life. Then I added, “Make something wonderful happen, if you truly exist.” That night, I met Larry at a dance—-my soul mate for life. Together we have seen the hand of God on our own lives, our families’ lives, and so many others. How he speaks to you may be entirely different. Just like nature is filled with a diversity of flowers and trees, so God has many ways to call his own to himself. Most of us have a thirst for more than this life. We know deep inside that the end of life is not the end. It’s written in our hearts.

24Lily Tang, Jerry Kublank and 22 others6 CommentsLikeCommentShare

Ancestry Question

Those in the family who have studied our ancestry have told me that we descend from a 15^th century girl who survived the black plague in Norway. I guess mankind has been fighting diseases from the beginning of time.

My grandfather, Lauritz Gram, immigrated to the US through the St Lawrence Seaway in Canada and made his way to West Allis, Wisconsin when he was 7 years old. In Norway, his family worked in the antique business and it is said that Edvard Grief, the great composter, had a candlestick holder on his piano from one of our relatives.  The Grams were pastors and teachers in Norway. Education was important to them; all three of Lauritz Gram’s kids received a college education. He married Emma Carter, and loved baseball and Model T’s—- he was a proud owner of a 1920 Ford Motel T.   He had two boys and one girl; my father was their second child.  Lauritz made his living working for Allis Chalmers Company.  He walked daily and said his alphabet backwards to improve his mind. He was a thin, wiry man with a good sense of humor.

The name Gram is a Danish name. There was an ornate Gram building in Denmark.  But when I had an Ancestry test, Danish ancestry did not show up. It’s possible that the Norwegians lived in Denmark at one time.  

The Berge clan is from Norway near Bergen. They immigrated to Wisconsin to be farmers. It was a difficult task to cut down trees and clear the land. They settled in a little town called Valders outside of Manitowoc WI. I remember my grandfather and my Uncle Oley and Aunt Dagny. They were wonderful people who welcomed us to stay at their large farm home in the summer. My sister, Ginger, loved the farm and was happy to settle on one when she married, Jim Fay. There was always an occasion to visit the farm for family gathering, but my focus was to play with the current crop of kittens and occasionally take one home. Twinkle Toes and Cookie were a couple from the farm.

The Berge’s are related to members who served in the Civil War. There is a very interesting diary one wrote about the family losing children to the flu and almost dying after their serve in the Civil War. Deborah and I have copies of the story. We come from some very hardy and healthy people who also had a strong faith in God. Grandpa and Grandma Berge read their bible, which was on a table near their bed, daily.

My DNA Ancestry test said I was 66% Norwegian and 9 % Swedish which makes me 75 % Scandinavian. I have a grandmother from the British Isles that makes up for the 25%. Her name was Emma Carter. My husband’s ancestors are from Southern Germany and Poland. Larry’s grandfather cooked dishes from Southern Germany. We learn a lot about our relatives by the dishes they cooked. What dishes do you eat on the holidays?

“The sun is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion, like a champion rejoicing to run his course.”  

 As we entered Kettle Moraine, we saw the return of the herons and sand-hill cranes, and enjoyed the fusion of blue and yellow flowers bending their faces to the sun as it disappeared in the pink and purple horizon.   We have been camping in Kettle Moraine now for over 45 years

 Being in nature is like taking a shower and ridding oneself of the dust of daily living. It refreshes the soul and brings one closer to God and one another.  On a beautiful day, we often returned to Kettle Moraine Wisconsin staying at Ottawa Lake or Pine Creek campground. It was less than two hours away from home.   I can close my eyes and still see our three children.  Deborah, our oldest, we nicknamed, Bear. Her beautiful hair would capture the sun rays as she searched the trees for ripened apples. Julie, our curly red-headed daughter, would be giggling nonstop while spinning around on the merry-go-round shirtless. Then, there was Aaron, our youngest, who we gave an Indian nickname name, Little Silver-top whose crotch runs close to the ground. Dad and Aaron have similar body types, both have long torsos and shorter legs. While hiking, we would stuff our backpacks with undomesticated apples savoring the thought of the delicious applesauce we would make at home.

On one occasion, the campground was full. We thought we’d make the best of the day and then return home. But Julie, being her gregarious self, shared our lack of a campsite to a local girl who was her swimming pal.  They invited us to set our tent up on their property nearby.  We all made friends with the family and later Larry even went fishing with the girl’s father.

Whenever our adult children came back to visit, we would once again go up to Kettle. Geoff and Julie and family would hike the trails with us, and introduce Elliot and Nata to the beauty of nature. For a couple years, Nata invited her friends to celebrate her September birthday. We would bring up our trailer for a place to gather in case of inclement weather.  Sometimes we would visit Oconomowoc and feast on a delicious Mexican dinner and enjoy the Wizard of Oz statues and a beautiful beach.

Throughout our careers, we would head up to Kettle with our Willow on Wheel friends and take long bike rides. After we retired from our jobs as teachers, we purchased a motorcycle and continued to visit Kettle. Instead of riding our bikes from Ottawa Lake Campground to Delevan, we rode up and down the hills on our Goldwing with much less exhaustion. There’s a lovely coffee house in town where we had lunch.

Kettle Moraine has continued to be the place we visit often. We love the harmony and tunes of nature at its best. “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the skies proclaim the work of His hand’s. Day unto day utters speech.” Psalm 19: 1-2

The language of nature has always spoken to me. I hope it speaks to you as well.

Storyworth-My Best Job

When my children were young, I supplemented our income by teaching ESL through McHenry County College and Elgin Community College. When Aaron, my youngest, was 12 years old I accepted a job teaching English/Speech/Drama at Cary-Grove High School. I would say these were my favorite jobs because they challenged me to grow academically, socially, and emotionally.

I was always fond of learning about other cultures and ESL was a way to travel vicariously. I had students from Mexico, Brazil, Switzerland and Sweden to name a few. I often invited my student over to our house to meet my family, and to give them a healthy meal. At the end of the semester, we would have a Christmas party and each student would bring an ethnic dish and tell about their country’s traditions. I remember Julie coming with me to these parties. . She vividly remembers a Russian woman with an extreme amount of make-up.  Deborah was in school and Aaron was too young to come. My students demonstrated their appreciation with hand-made gifts like colorful doilies.  

When Aaron was 12 years old, I accepted a full-time teaching job.  The first two years were difficult having to learn the material and prepare lesson plans. But when I was working toward my Master’s degree, I felt more confident.  I   I loved teaching literature and often connected books like Animal Farm to history. We covered literature about the holocaust and the Civil Rights Movement. But my favorite subject to teach was British Literature. We read Beowulf, Sir Gawain and the Knights, King Author, Chaucer, and Shakespeare. I added Princess Bride and a few episodes of Mr. Bean for fun. My students did research and presentations in all my classes. I was teaching Beowulf at the time that 9/11 occurred. It then became a study of good vs evil. We went to see the movie Beowulf with Angela Jolie playing Grendel. Afterwards we went to the Village Squire to discuss the difference between the book and the movie. The students overall loved the class because unlike American Literature we were able to laugh especially reading Chaucer.

Teachings Speech Communication and Drama helped me to get to know my students better. My goal was to help them learn skills that would enable them to be better speakers and listeners. Teaching was very time consuming during the school year, but the summers were a great time to engage more with family and friends and to travel more. It was a job that stretched me and challenged me to grow intellectually and relationally. Although I am enjoying my retirement, I often think of my love for teaching and connecting with students and faculty. Face Book has help me keep my connections.

The highlight of my career was taking my students to perform Taming of the Shrew downstate. We also put on Sleeping Beauty with Mary Casta who was the voice of Sleeping Beauty in the film.

My dear sister, Ginger, passed away on January 17^th2022 from Covid/Pneumonia.  The last I saw her, she was active and healthy and celebrating a milestone, fiftieth wedding anniversary.  I thumbed through old pictures which brought back many wonderful memories.

When I was born, my parents were going to name me, Ginger. Their friends said, “You can’t name your daughter, Ginger. It’s a name for pets.” But the love of the name prevailed and Ginger got her rightful name. She was full of spunk and looked up to me, her sister two years older.  Being the baby of the family, she would run off to a friend’s house after dinner to avoid the pile of dishes. Boy, did she make up for it and later life.  

Ginger and mother were very close. She told her, “I don’t ever want to leave you. But if I get married, I’ll live next door.” Ginger and her family took care of mom, who lived at the Garden Apartments in Waterman, until her death at 93 years old. When Ginger joined me at NIU, she also put her faith in Jesus and soon met the love of her life, Jim Fay. Jim was trying to escape being a farmer by going to NIU to become a Spanish teacher. But the love of the land prevailed, and she and Jim married.  Ginger would call me and say, “Sue, are you sitting down?” Then I knew she was going to announce another pregnancy. Getting pregnant was not easy for Ginger, who experienced morning sickness with each of her six children. She always had a smile on her face except when she suffered a miscarriage in late term.   I came out to comfort her as we sat around the kitchen table in tears. Her family was the very fabric of her life.

In the Spring, Ginger would call and say, “The corn and tomatoes are ready; come out and get them.” There was nothing like their wonderful sweet corn. My three children loved to escape suburbia to visit the Fay farm.  “We had so many adventures,” said, Aaron.  We would play in the barn and pretend we were lost children who had to forge our way in life.” They had a motherless lamb, that Ginger had to bottle fed.  It became the family pet. Now, how many children had a pet lamb like the Fay children?  To cool off on hot summer days, there was the large swimming pool near the house.  I believe it was Karrie who was trying to teach one of the third world kittens how to swim, with no luck. Ginger always had a great lunch for us and the whole family would come out for Thanksgiving celebrations.

 Loyalty and love prevailed at the Fay house. Not only did they love their children and grandchildren unconditionally, but they filled their large farm house with many who were trying to find their way in the world. They lived Matthew 25:35, where Jesus spoke of those who would inherit the kingdom of God. “For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took me in.” Yes, many strangers were fed literally and spiritually on the Fay farm.

Ginger came to almost every major event in my life. We stood up at each other’s weddings. She was there when my son Aaron was born and I was there when Heather, her youngest, was born.  When I directed the school plays at Cary-Grove High School, she would bring our mother and her mother-in-law to attend our matinee performances. 

 Now in her resting place, Ginger will always live in our hearts.  She loved people of all walks of life and expressed it in her actions.  I will miss meeting her this March in Geneva to celebrate her birthday. Thanks, Julie, for asking me this question on Storyworth. The tears are now flowing, and I am experiencing some healing.

Are you Still friends with any of your friends from high school? How have they changed? 

My friendship with Adeline, Margo and Cookie goes back to elementary school days in the 1950’s.   

We all attended Warren Elementary School in Chicago. I remember looking out my door and seeing Adeline being dragged along by her Italian parents to school.  She had a great love for stars like Pat Boone and Elvis Presley.  Adeline openly shared her opinions on every topic under the sun, and she still does today.  I would walk over to her house to study geometry after school. The house was filled with the sound of opera and the aroma of some wonderful dish.  Realizing I ate bland food at home, Adeline’s   mother would save me a tasty dish of Mostaccioli or Lasagna, etc.  I often wished I was born in Italy, too.   Adeline was a strikingly beautiful woman who was part of the homecoming court as a freshman in high school.   Her parents were very strict and would not allow her to date.  She never married and took care of her parents until their death. But she had a wonderful career as a business teacher at Robert Morris College, took many trips to Italy and was a wonderful aunt to her extended family.

Margo moved to Chicago from West Virginia. She lived a block away from me in a town house where her divorced parents lived one upstairs and the other downstairs.  Margo had blond hair and dark skin. At the beach, she would get so dark that it was said, “If you get any darker, you’ll need police protection.” So sad to say, but racial profiling was big in the 60’s. After school, we would walk over to her dad’s auto repair shop and have a coke while we waited for her dad to drive us home. Being part of a bowling league, we often walked a block from the auto shop to see how many strikes and gutters we could get.

Cookie or Karlene had a warm and pleasant personality. She would ask very personal questions and would listen attentively. Her mother had a salon in her basement where we often played. Cookie and her mother would get into fights and sometimes a brush would go flying in the air. She smoked at an early age and would pretend she was a movie star like Irma la Deuce showing off her fancy cigarette holder. She was a very good student and much more outgoing and daring than I was. But she was conscious of her weight and had a friend pretend to be her on the phone. The friend asked a boy if he would go to the prom with her. He said, “Yes”, to the impersonator pretending to be her. We laughed until our ribs ached about that ruse.  Humor was a big part of our lives. Our job was to gather lots of jokes during the morning to share at lunch time. We would laugh so hard the milk would come out of our noses.  

Communication had been off and on throughout the years, while all three of us had full time jobs, children and now grandchildren. But now that we are all retired, we are reconnecting again. What’s great about having a long-term friendship is that we can once again share stories from our past and get each other’s different perspectives. Although we are now 75 years old, we can still enjoy prosperous lives. I think of the song, “Sunrise, Sunset, swiftly flies the years, one season following another, laden with happiness and tears.” We have been there for both.   

I was asked this question in my Storyworth gift for Christmas. I’m asked one question a week and at the end of the year, they put my answers in a book form.

What were your Grandparents Like 

I remember my grandparents on my dad’s side better than on my mom’s side. They would come and see us on their way to and from Naples, FL-their winter getaway. Grandpa Lauritz Gram was a friendly and interesting man who was born in Norway and came to the US through the St Lawrence Seaway. He settled in West Allis, Wisconsin. Grandpa worked for Allis Chalmer company. He loved baseball, fishing and keeping his mind alert by listening to Readers Digest on tape, and by saying the alphabet backwards. He was almost blind and had to tilt his head to see us. I wonder how he ever drove back and forth to FL with his trailer attacked. He lived until almost 98. We attributed it to the fact that he ate oatmeal every day.  

Grandma Emma Carter Gram was English/Scottish/Irish and was not as warm and friendly as Grandpa. I heard that when my dad had friends come over from college; she’d go to her room and pretend to be sick. When we had Sunday meals around the dining room table, Grandma wasn’t very happy to have anyone other than the family around our table. But my mom would often invite others for a lamb or pork roast dinner. I loved those times, because that’s when I learned the most about family history.  

Grandpa and Grandma would take over the master bedroom, and each night Grandpa would pour a glass of Mogen David Wine for the two of them. When Grandma Gram came down the stairs, he would whistle a tune and sing, “Here Comes the Bride.” He was devasted when she died at 89 years old.  

Ginger and I would entertain them with a dramatic show. We would dress up and do a lot of giggling.  Sometimes we’d sing an advertisement ditty. “Pamper, Pamper, new shampoo. Gentle as a lamb so right for you. Gentle as a Lamb (I’d say) Yes, Ma’am (responded Ginger) Pamper, Pamper, new shampoo. I would continue the show by standing on my head and doing a backbend and then walking over to a cup of water. I’d pick it up and pretend to drink and then put it back on the floor and continue to walk back and pull myself up.  I would get a resounding applause for that trick. 

In the summer, Grandpa and Grandma lived in Crivitz WI where I remember catching one fish.  But otherwise, we would see them in West Allis for special occasions like weddings and graduations.  

My mother, who was born in Valder’s WI, was the 12^thchild in her family. She was raised by her older sisters and didn’t interact very much with her mother.  I remember Olean Berge as a quiet woman dressed in black and sitting on her rocker. I imagine she listened to my mother play the piano which was my mom’s fun activity along with playing the game,  ball and jacks.  

Grandpa Anton Berge was born about the time that Lincoln died in 1865.  He did the hard work of tilting the land for farming. I loved seeing the cows and calves, but I was scared to death of the bull.  There was a part of the barn that had old farming implements and a horse-driven sled.  I imagined what it must have been like to have Grandpa drive my mother and her brother to school in very bad weather. But my favorite activity was playing with the kittens: I would often take one home.                                                     

Uncle Oley and Aunt Dagney, and my cousins lived with Grandpa and Grandma.   Grandpa, also Norwegians, would call her “Yudy” which I found unusual since her name was Judy.  He would yell “behivity” to my three male cousins if they were misbehaving. He told me he worked as a cobbler when he was younger before becoming a farmer. He gave Ginger and me a silver dollar to keep as a remembrance of him.  He took care of the chickens and the bees and continued to drive until his death at 94.