All posts by Sue Schuerr

I chose lifewithlarry.org because it's about my life with this remarkable and unique man named Larry. We met at Northern Illinois University in 1965 and have been married for 56 years. We have three adult children and five grandchildren. Our motto in marriage is to learn to serve one another and put God first in life. We hope through our many experiences in life that you can gain some wisdom about how to have a happier marriage or a better life as a single person. "I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with-----plenty or little." Phillipians 4:12

Why Have We Been Given Two Ears and One Mouth?

Why Have We Been Given Two Ears and One Mouth?   123

  “We have been given two ears and one mouth so we can speak less and listen more.” This was a quote in our speech book at Cary Grove High School.  I learned this lesson by the mistakes I have made in communication in the past. My husband pointed out that I often asked a person a question and then when they were responding,  I’d start a conversation with another person at the table. How rude was that and yet I didn’t even realize I was doing it.  Fortunately, I heeded Larry’s words and worked at changing this behavior. “Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers”—Proverbs 16:20. Now that I’m a senior citizen, it’s time to express what I have learned in life. If I hadn’t been an English/Speech teacher, I probably would have been a journalist. When I wrote for the Compassion and Justice ministry at Willow, I had the opportunity to interview  people from various walks of life. I found my sweet spot doing this. I looked at everyone as I would look at an interesting book and asked myself, “What can I learn from this person and what makes them tick.” “When having a conversation with someone, think of them as the most interesting person in the world. Being curious will take you away from being judgmental as well,” said Robyn Hatcher.

Toastmasters has also helped me be a better listener.  I have to remember—“It’s not about me.” Listening properly means fully engaging instead of jumping in when the speaker takes a breath and bringing the topic back to me. This is also a wonderful way of making great friendships. It doesn’t mean you don’t express yourself;  instead,  it means waiting to hear them through. Larry had a very difficult day on a climbing trip in Montana. When he returned, he told a friend about it—- ” This was the most difficult day of my life– second to basic training as a Marine..”The response from the listener was, “Let me tell you about my retirement plan.” There wasn’t even an attempt at asking why it was the most difficult day.

But how often do we catch ourselves only thinking of our own needs and not the needs of others? “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are, and then wait to hear the answer,” said Ed Cummingham.

So how can we all get better at the art of listening?

Here’s an anacyrom  that will help. EARS

E=Engaging-Be interested in your friend’s thoughts and opinions.

A= Acknowledge-Acknowledge the speaker-Put away distractions.

R=Repeat what the speaker said in your own words so the speaker can clarify or correct any misunderstanding.

I hope this has been helpful for you. Please respond on my website www.lifewithlarry.org to post what you have learned about the subject.  My New Year’s resolution is to get better at this most important art of good listening.

Merry Christmas 2015

“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting, ‘Oh my God, what a ride.’” It has been that kind of year filled with many activities. Instead of being in beautiful snow laden MT this Christmas, we are home because of Larry’s meniscus knee surgery and our involvement in a Nativity play with Jonahre Foundation. We are gearing up for our last performance this Saturday at Egg Harbor Restaurant in Barrington. It’s a live nativity with a camel and lots of sheep. Larry and I didn’t like the scripts we saw on line so we wrote our own. This experience has brought us back to the theatre days at Cary Grove High School where we teamed up directing the school plays.

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The year 2015 was a whirlwind of activity beginning with New Years in MT with Aaron, Lynelle and our three grandchildren—August, Jasper and Isaak. August loves aviation and had a chance to fly a real plane. Jasper loves physics and playing his cello. Isaak is very athletic and loves his French horn.

Elliot and Natalie drove out to MT with us this past summer so we could have a cousins’ reunion. It was so exciting to have them all together along with their Aunt Deborah. Elliot and Natalie are amazing readers. Elliot loves soccer and Natalie has been in several recitals playing the piano and singing.

One of the highlights of the year was our trip to Costa Rica with International Teams last March. We worked on building projects on their lovely campus filled with flowers and fruit trees. My job was to teach English classes to a couple Latin American women. What a wonderful way to make international friends for life.

I continue to keep my connections with District 155 by subbing when needed and Larry spent a lot of time volunteering with Love INC and Conference Point, a camp on Lake Geneva. Whoever said retirement is boring? We wake up to our coffee and ask God this question,”What do you have for us to do today?” There is always something. “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10.

We hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Remember life is more than going through the motions of making a living, etc. You are unique just like your fingerprints and created for a purpose. Jesus said, “I am come that you may have life and more abundantly.” John 10:10. Go for that abundant life and don’t settle for anything less.

Welcome growing older and in Larry’s words remember the following, “Old age and treachery will always win out over youth and vigor.” So smile at the future. We love to post our pictures on Facebook under Sue Schuerr and Larry Schuerr. We also have a blog called www.lifewithlarry.org. Please stay connected and stop in and visit when you are in the area.

Love, Sue and Larry Schuerr/Christmas 2015

Home is Where the Heart Is

We had been married for ten years with three beautiful children but

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no home of our own. We finally qualified for a loan in 1978, but the interest rate was high. Our construction loan was 12%—a sign of the times during Jimmy Carter’s presidency. I longed for a home for my children—Deborah, Julia and Aaron. Just like the woman in Proverbs 31 who bought land, I traveled from West Chicago to Algonquin and saw the quaint town with the Fox River flowing nearby. I stopped at a real estate company telling him I was interested in buying a lot for our future home. We bought a lot in unincorporated Fox River Grove from a 90 year woman for a very low price. My brother Bill, a lawyer, wondered if it was under water. It was on a downhill lot filled with trees. We would need to clear it and put in a well and septic.

We rented a house in nearby Crystal Lake and worked in the evenings clearing the lot. I gazed longingly at our land and dreamed of the house we would soon build. It was a long wait before our home materialized. In 1980, the bottom fell out of the economy similar to what happened in 2008. There was very little work for my contracting husband and even though I helped support our family of three with homebound tutoring and subbing jobs, we could no longer afford to rent a house while building our own home.

Summer passed and we were staying in a camper at Buffalo Park in Algonquin. I drove the kids to school and then went to my tutoring jobs. Aaron, our son, was asked to draw a picture of his house. He said to the teacher, “You mean our lot.” He didn’t have a house yet. But even then as a young artist, Aaron could accurately draw his house which was just a frame with a ladder going up to the window. Today he is a noted plein air artists. See www.aaronschuerr.com.

Winter came and we moved into the garage and kept warm with our wood burning stove. Larry read C.S. Lewis stories around the fire. We identified with “Little House on the Prairie”. We were regulars at the YMCA where we had membership. In fact on Christmas Eve the staff told us the pool was closed. We said, “That’s OK. We just need showers,”

From the garage, we continued to complete the house. Larry struggled while putting the heating ducts in by himself. In frustration, his language became rather colorful. “I never heard Daddy talk like that,” said Debbie. I quickly shuffled the children off to bed saying we need to pray for daddy. Each day after school, the kids huddled around the radio and listened to children’s programs on Moody radio. I often remarked, “We have a loving home but no physical house to put it in yet.”

A woman from church invited us to stay at her home for a couple weeks while they were vacationing. “That would be wonderful,” I said. I try to remember how important hospitality can be. We had no choice living like this while we were building. There just wasn’t income—contracting had dried up and our interest rate was almost like the interest on our credit card.

From the garage we moved to the basement and established a kitchen similar to my Italian high school friend, Adelina Gina Maria Sangineto. The Italians I knew growing up cooked in the basement during the hot summer. Then after dry walling the bedrooms, we set up the bunk beds Larry made for Deb and Julie. The telephones were installed before the dry wall was completed. Unfortunately, someone stole our telephones and we had to replace them.

Our showers at the YMCA came to an end when we installed the bathtub. That was a momentous occasion. We took our first baths by candle light before the drywall was completed. It was pure luxury. I appreciated every step forward to the completion of our house.

Finally, the day came for our final inspection. We were very nervous because we still had major things to complete. The sink and one of the toilets was not functional yet. But we passed and shouted “Hallelujah.” I’ll never forget those difficult days and I’ll always have compassion in my heart for those in need. I was able to get a job teaching full time and I helped finance Larry’s education so he could complete his degree and become an Industrial Arts teacher. We knew we had to look for a more secure financial situation for us and our family. We were hard workers willing to take the opportunities to advance—- life then got much easier for us.

We have been in our home now for over 30 years and the walls reverberate with the voices of our three wonderful children and now our five grandchildren. Pictures of our odyssey from our lot to our home fill our walls. We love opening our home to friends for potluck dinners. A day doesn’t go by when I don’t thank God for our wonderful now paid off home. It has high ceilings and windows on the roof. It is decorated with tropical plants and large windows. Our wooded lot is surrounded with plants and trees. I love looking out the window watching the birds sing, the trees swaying in the wind or the snow glistening. Occasionally, a deer or a fox will make a quick appearance. I will always remember our times of struggle and our times of plenty. It is part of the tapestry of our lives

 

When you Help Others, You Help Yourself

Love INC Southwest Helps Single Mother

“I want to help others through Love INC like I was helped.”

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Tammy, who thought she could never get pregnant, became a mother on August 9th. Her family wanted Tammy to have her own place near them so she purchased a trailer in Wauconda. The owner assured the family that the place needed only minor repairs. As it turned out, there was mold in a large portion of the trailer. Having used all her funds to purchase the trailer, there was nothing left for a redo. But then Tammy and her mother, Tina, heard about Love INC Southwest. After an in-depth assessment, Tammy was approved for help. A construction team, led by Larry Schuerr, gutted the trailer, dry walled and painted it. They replaced rotted wood and added new fixtures where needed. The volunteers, including Tammy’s brother David, gave of their time, skills and energy to make the trailer a safe haven for Tammy and her baby, Joseph. A local church named Fusion heard about Tammy and helped clean and move her in. As a result, they developed a relationship with Tammy who now attends their church. The trailer remodeling project has opened the doors to many new friendships. Tammy knows she is not alone. She is now settled in and is looking forward to an open house for all the volunteers who helped make her dream come true. “I feel so blessed to be a mother at 36 years old. I will enjoy every moment with my son. I look forward to Boy Scouts, church activities and sports with him. I also want to help others through Love INC like I was helped.”

Why Volunteer for Love INC Southwest

No matter what church you attend, you too can be the hands and feet of Jesus by helping those in need. The trailer project required many volunteers with various skills. The Body of Christ under the umbrella of Love INC came together to enrich Tammy and little Joseph’s lives.

They worked through the hot and humid August and September weather. It did not dampen their spirits.

Comments from the Volunteers

  • “We just wanted to help Tammy and her family. They are very important to us, said volunteer–Tammy Seymour.
  • “I like helping. I want to be useful for God. It is an all-around win-win situation for me, “said Dennis Blake.
  • Sam Hanasz and his daughter, Katie, were busy plastering the walls. They saw the Needs Alert email and responded. “It’s a time to bond and acquire some skills,” said Sam. My daughter, Katie, learned how to effectively use measuring tools.”
  • Mark Notle from the North Suburban Mennonite Church said, “Its God’s gift of grace to us. He gives grace to love our neighbor.” That is his motivation.
  • Steve Schmidt from Willow Creek Community Church heard about the project from Larry. Steve, a very skilled experienced volunteer, was busy putting up dry wall when he humorously said, “I don’t know why I answer the phone when Larry Schuerr calls.” But it sure is a male bonding and giving experience for him.
  • Donna Pearl, who attends Alpine church, was walking her dog and saw the Love INC poster. Her friendly dog pulled on the leash leading her to Tammy’s trailer where she saw Larry who had done minor repairs on her trailer. She was delighted to live close enough to offer her assistance by regularly donating water and pop for the volunteers. Donna said,”There was a time when I could not help because I wasn’t right with myself. But God has changed me.” Receivers in Love INC often become givers.

For more information about how you can serve with Love INC Southwest or if you want to be placed on the Email Alert notification list, contact Jeanne McGowan at 847-459-8835.

 

 

 

 

 

Remembering the FRG Train Accident/20 years

I picked up the Tribune today and read the tragedy that took place October 25th 1995—- the Fox River Grove train accident. I was an English teacher at Cary-Grove High School. That day I had a substitute because we were putting on the play, THE HOBBIT. It was going to be a day time play for Senior Citizens. The official opening for the public would be that coming Friday.

But then I heard about the train accident. I immediately went to the office to see how I could help concerned parents connect with their children. It was a day of heavy grief and much prayer.

I found out that two of my students had died in the crash and one was seriously injured.  Stephanie Fulham was a student in my class and had a small part in the school play. I went to her funeral and gave her parents the Hobbit costume she would have worn.  I remember her as a sweet, blonde-haired, petite student. We all loved her.

Susana Guzman was in my speech class. She had just given a wonderful speech on her hero, Selena, a Mexican singer who had been killed. Susana was also petite with long curly brown hair and a beautiful smile.

I talked to the mother of one of my students. Her son was in my class and we were having a test that day. He told his mother to pray for him because he was going to have a test in my class that day. Little did he know the test he would have to endure—–healing and recuperating from a train accident. His twin brother was also injured.

We must have had 70 counselors in the Media Center that week, but most students chose to stay in their classrooms. There was no separation between school and God.  We provided poster boards for the students and they wrote out their prayers and messages for the families. Literature took on new meaning.

The foyer of the school’s front lobby was filled with flowers from as far away as Japan. We were a grieving school for a long time. We had a special ceremony where we learned about the building of the Friendship Circle. Seven white doves were let go to symbolize the passing of seven students.  There has always been something special about Cary-Grove High School. We experienced deep pain and we understood grief. There was a closeness and a caring for students that I have not seen elsewhere.  We rescheduled the play, THE HOBBIT, for December and dedicated it to Stephanie Fulham.

 

An Unusual Fishing Venture

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The crystal clear water of Devil’s Lake is surrounded by high bluffs that are magnets to hikers and rock climbers alike.   It’s an unusual hidden jewel in the Midwest.   We were very fortunate to get a camp site on such a picture perfect weekend.   Luckily we got our tent up in time to watch the birds fly over the breathtaking pink and purple sunset. We looked forward to Lola and Thom’s arrival so that the hiking, biking and most importantly laughing around the campfire could begin.

Then I heard a sound that changed everything, “Bang”.

Larry, my husband, shut the door of our 2000 Windstar Ford Van and I heard him gasp in shock.

“Oh rats,” he said, “I thought I was unlocking it, not locking it. I left the keys in the car.”

Sure enough, there they were laid out between the seats to rest like a silver trout between two pond cup holders.   Our spare key tucked under the right wheel had long since disappeared.

I thought of less technical days when opening a locked vehicle was so much easier. I once taught ESL classes at a synagogue when a student from India came to class frantic because he had locked his keys in his car. I promptly marched into the synagogue kitchen and retrieved a handy black spatula and proceeded to squeeze it through the rubber between the windows. “Voila,” the car opened.

Another time Larry locked the keys in our Ford station wagon, and a group of foster teenagers Larry invited camping with us opened it with a coat hanger.

“We learned this trick in our juvie days,” they laughed.

But with computerization, the days of opening cars with a spatula or coat hanger are over.

Seeing myself as an adequate problem solver, I walked around the van a couple of times and observed one glimmer of hope. The back vent window was opened about two inches. I also noticed a group of male campers toasting their feet around a cozy campfire after a fruitless day of fishing.

Having given up hope, Larry was already planning on borrowing Lola and Thom’s car when they arrived to drive to our home almost three hours away to retrieve our second set of keys. I grimaced at the thought of a six hour unnecessary trip.   What a way to ruin a beautiful weekend!

Boldly walking up to the fishermen, I said, “Do any of you have ideas about how to retrieve our captured keys from a locked van. The back side vent window is open about two inches.”

“Well, we have a fishing pole and lure,” the camper thoughtfully replied. “But the fishing pole is not long enough to reach from the back of the van to the front where your keys are located. Scratching his head, he said, “We could attach it to something, but what?”

“We could duct tape the lure to my fiberglass tent pole,” Larry piped in with renewed hope.

The ideas continued to swirl around from one camper to the next as our plan unfolded. We tied a treble hook to a twelve inch long piece of fishing line which we duct taped to the end of Larry’s tent pole. Then we turned the pole to wind the line around the tent pole. Where would mankind be without duct tape?  “Move over Rover!” Duct tape is now modern man’s best friend.   Larry and the fishermen got more excited by the minute as they continued to pool their ideas together.

“What have we here,” I contemplated. “It’s a near impossible venture, at least a challenge and men with nothing better to do? It’s male bonding at its best. MacGyver would be proud of them.”

Larry, our self-appointed fisherman, assigned us our positions as we prepared to go for the keys. Fishing for car keys—- How absurd was that! My job was to stand by the side of the van with a flashlight while Larry blindly and painstakingly fished his way through the back vent window to the front of the vehicle. He manipulated the fishing rod up and down with help from the campers.

Being the only one who could see clearly, I gave the directions about how to move the pole, “Slightly to the right, Honey.”   “Now move it to the left, and down a bit.”

We were all very tense and focused as we engaged in our most unusual fishing venture. As the typical fishermen’s wife, I really didn’t have much hope for its success.   I’ve heard enough fishing stories in the past. But I watched in wonderment as these men maneuvered the pole until it finally hovered over the steel fish—our keys.

“How far above the keys am I,” Larry asked. “How much line should I unravel?”

I watched the baiting lure make its first downcast attempt about an inch shy of the capture.

“Try again, Lar— this time more to the right,” I nervously stated.

He lowered the hook and unwound the line. After a couple more tries, I watched in disbelief as the magical silver fish flickering in the moonlight was being drawn up into thin air.   My heart raced and my stomach did summersaults as they worked the pole backwards.

The fishermen were delighted at the capture, but they didn’t see what I saw—— the entanglements which included—tossed clothing, camping supplies, and the velour seats that could so easily ensnare our coveted prize. Touch anything and we’re cooked.   I continued directing the blind fishermen to move the pole in such a manner as to avoid entrapment. With a sense of empowerment, I was the Siren commanding my ship of male servants who were painstakingly following my directions. I relished in the fleeting moment.   In sheer delight, I saw the keys within inches of the vent window. We were all breathless with excitement. Handing the flash light to one of the fishermen, I wedged my tiny fist through the vent window capturing our trophy prize.

We jumped up and down in disbelief— and our shouts of triumph could be heard throughout the campground. Where was America’s Funniest Home Videos when we needed them? Did we really fish for keys?? Larry, redeeming himself, proved it be an excellent fisherman, but not without his team and sheer luck.

Lola and Thom pulled up and wondered what was causing all the commotion. They were not surprised to hear that Larry had locked the keys in the van. He is known for creating problems that take fleets of fishermen to solve.   We all huddled around the inviting campfire keeping Larry far away from the keys. Yes, it was going to be a weekend to remember.

Stay tuned in for the following chapter on solving another impossible van situation.

 

 

 

 

Why Visit Brown County State Park in Indiana

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Brown County State Park in Nashville, IN

After we finish the Hilly Hundred Bike Ride near Bloomington, Indiana, we reward ourselves by spending a night or two at Brown County State Park. This nationally known 15,776 acre facility is a jewel in the Midwest. October is one of the best months to visit because of the beautiful foliage color change. The park is open all year round offering an abundance of activities including 18 miles of easy to rugged hiking, 20 miles of mountain biking, indoor and outdoor swimming pools, horse-back riding and the beautiful rustic Abe Martin Lodge which has 84 lodge rooms.

Our first morning, we had breakfast at the lodge which is located in a beautiful rustic setting. It’s a lovely place to have a reasonably priced, excellent buffet while being surrounded by nature at its best—flowers, birds, deer and a variety of colorful trees.

Camping is available year-round, and the lodge is available for all. In the past, we have stayed at one of their family cabins near the lodge which includes sleeping for 8, a complete kitchen equipped with all the cooking utensils and linens.

If you want to feel like you are visiting Appalachia, step into the nearby town of Nashville, IN. It is a shoppers’ delight with a variety of stores and restaurants. Get a carriage ride through town if you prefer.

Then return to Brown County State Park to experience the beauty and solitude of nature. If you live in the Chicago area as we do, the distance from the city to Door County or to Brown County is about the same—5 hours give or take. Of course, it could be up to 10 degrees warmer in Nashville, IN. This has been part of www.lifewithlarry.org/travels for years now.  Take time to enjoy the beauty of God’s wonderful creation.  For more information, see the following:

Brown County State Park Online: dnr.IN.gov or call 812-988-6406.

 

 

 

Travels with Larry/Space A/Fly Like An Eagle

Sometime this year we hope to CIMG4858travel Space A again. We have been on a Lear jet twice from Washington DC to Scott Air Force Base in IL.   I could not travel without him; Larry put in the required time of over 20 years for the privilege.    He spent 4 years in the Marines as an air-controller and in the military police. He then joined the Navy reserves for 18 years and did most of his duties at the former Glenview Naval Air Station where he enjoyed playing many practical jokes on his friends.

We started flying Space A about 6 years ago as part of our retirement travel plan.  It has been the source of many adventures to various places like Germany, Spain, Italy and Hawaii.   We have been on a C5 and a C1-17 cargo medi-vac and twice on a Lear Jet.  But the most exciting was being   on a refueling tanker  We were able to lie on our stomachs and watch while our plane in mid air was being refueled. The pilot was a young woman with a blonde pony tail. We have enjoying getting to know servicemen and women. They tell us about their deployments and say they are glad to serve.

Flying Space A is not for the faint-hearted. You can have very long wait times and it may mean hopping around the US before reaching your destination. But it is a wonderful adventure that I thank God for letting us experience. It reminds me of one of my favorite verses in the Bible. “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:30-

A Joyful Heart is Good Medicine

Washington 2015 060To enhance a relationship, add fun and the unexpected.  Over the years Larry and I have learned to laugh regardless of what is going on in our lives.  We took a vacation to Seattle, Washington and camped for three days at the Olympic National Forest. We hiked and enjoyed the beauty around us. I noticed a cylinder culvert ahead so I scampered ahead and hid on the side of it planning on scaring Larry.  I timed it just right I thought. I jumped out and said BOOO but to my amazement, it wasn’t Larry. It was a tall heavyset Englishman with dark rather spiky hair. “Bloody Hell,” he proclaimed. I quickly apologized saying, “So sorry—I thought you were my husband.” I truly scared him out of his wits. Welcome to America.

But then I situated myself again and jumped out and succeeded in scaring Larry.  Mission Accomplished. Larry calls me Nissa, a troublesome little Norwegian gnome. I’ll continue to live up to my name and watch for his comeback. Feel free to share how you add adventure to your relationship.

How to Make a Relationship Work

“Life is not measured by the breaths we take; but rather by the moments that took our breath away.”

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As I was walking through the field house at Northern Illinois University, I felt a large, warm hand on my neck. It was Larry who I had recently begun dating. There was something about his touch that was protective and secure. I turned around and looked up into his beautiful eyes. He walked me to my dorm and pretended to slip and slide on the icy terrain bumping into me and causing me to laugh heartily. Three years later, I began my ‘Life with Larry’. Our almost 47 year marriage has been filled with humor and adventure. Practical jokes abound. Each night I get up around 2 AM. Just before I rest my head down, my pillow may often go sailing down the hallway. I get even by filling his pillowcase with shoes and other odds and ends.

Our marriage is far from boring. Larry is my trailblazer setting us off on one adventure after another. Our partnership has included a tandem kayak and a tandem bicycle. We have a deep love that conquers all. That love has grown by serving one another, by putting one another above ourselves and by forgetting who is right or wrong in matters. We try to follow what the Bible says. “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” Many times we just agree to disagree. We can both be very stubborn.  But the Bible continues to be our source for guidance because it never changes unlike the latest counseling advice. Laughter fills our home and we miss one another when we are apart.Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle