A green and white neck brace encompasses Larry’s 171/2 in. neck making him look like a turtle.  He does the impression quite well. His large head pokes in and out like some Sesame street character. His speech is sometimes garbled, but I’ve always had to interpret for Larry whose original language is “mumble”. The neck brace doesn’t allow for much mobility. Although his neck fusion happened in January, 2010, he still wears the neck brace at night as a gentle reminder of the past.

Yes, I controlled his every move for a month or so. I was the Siren in charge of his destiny.  Even if I’m not quite 5 ft. and he is 6 ft. 2 in., he cringes at the thought of me driving his testosterone laden 4 by 4 King cap pickup truck. It has a special button to raise the pedals enabling me to drive. This is good because Larry refuses to add blocks with electrical tape like my dad did when I road my first tricycle.  I have to adjust the mirrors on the side which I haven’t quite mastered yet----scary, since the rear view mirror is useless. He has to submit to my wonderful driving techniques.  We had a Fox River Grove policeman as a neighbor who would stop me on the way to school telling me my stops were totally sloppy and what was he going to do----give me a ticket??  We’re neighbors. 

When we take off, Larry holds his head otherwise it might fly off and topple to the ground, and he’d be the headless horseman in a future horror flick.  I threaten to push him out in the snow if he complains one more time. I have waited years to get even. This is the man who throws my pillow down the hallway a half a block when I get up every night at 2 AM.  My secret desire has been to exchange weights and heights for at least a week----revenge.

Every once in awhile, he takes off his neck brace and turns into a frog hopping from one activity to the next.  Maybe if I kiss the frog, he’ll turn into a handsome prince. But the doctor’s orders are that he remains a turtle for at least a month.

So now I eat with a turtle

 I sleep with a turtle

I drive a turtle around town

If he doesn’t behave, I threaten to turn him into turtle soup. Control is what Geoffrey Chaucer said every woman desires.  Ha Ha!